Wednesday, September 26, 2007

this is not me

i'm tired. tired of thinking what people think about me. why does it matter so much? i can't stand looking at the people whispering about me and what i wear. "look at that b*tch. she thinks she's all that! look in the mirror, b*tch!" that's right. i don't have a size 2 body. i'm a normal girl. living a normal, ordinary life.

insecure is something that i'm too familiar with. too many things in my head that blocked my head from expressing my self. i'm afraid that they'll leave me. they. people who hang with me at lunch time.

my world, my life, my being are surrounded by slender girl with toned abs and completely flat stomach. whereas me. i am a normal girl with stretch marks on my stomach.

pretty? am i pretty? i think not. they say that i am appealing. but i think otherwise. i think they told me that to make me feel good about my self. pity. maybe that's why. maube they don't want me to feel miserable about my life.

i'm tired of laughing in the hall way with those fake looking girls. i'm tired of flipping my hair the way they told me to. i'm tired of wearing a low rise tank top. i'm tired of paying attention to the latest fashion in Vogue.
i feel like i live my life with mask. mask that helps me being accepted by the society.

that's not me!

will i ever be the old me?
will they accept the old me?

No comments: